Really Messed up Disgustingly Ugly Delicious Cookies!

Beware of these cookies! Don't judge a book by it's cover. Or don't judge a cookie by it's appearance or spongy texture. To make these cookies you must be mentally and physically prepared, because this is one really messed up, disgustingly ugly, delicious cookie!

Recipe:
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 cup butter
2 eggs
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 tsp baking soda
drop of vanilla
3 cups of eggnog

1. Preheat oven to 350 C
2. Mix harshly all ingredients into a large bowl.
3. Grease cookie sheet with organic coconut butter.
4. When raw ingredients are fully mixed to a liquid density pour all ingredients on the sheet and wait until all spread out onto cookie sheet. Don't bother trying to make individual cookies, this recipe doesn't allow it.
5. Bake for 30 minutes, or until cookie is bubbling into a really ugly, oval shape.
6. Enjoy your horrifying (yet delicious) cookie.





First day of grade one poem

My very first day of grade one

was scary and crazy and made me want to run.

My teacher’s name was Mr. Lott,

and handsome, he was surely not.

He was the king of room 123,

he made us bow to his majesty.

I still remember the way I spelled my name,

one out of 7 billion would spell it the same.

My teacher told me “Krestafr” was wrong.

Learning to spell it right took very long.

Maybe that’s why I fell asleep in class,

Hey, an 11 letter name wore out my ass.

I had a rat’s tail that wasn’t really cool

Yet, if anyone pulled it, then “I’d pity the fool.”

By lunchtime, I learned that bologna was gross,

pulled it out of my sandwich and left it in rows.

The Turkish lunch lady wasn’t impressed,

she later made me wipe the desk.

Our school mascot was a teddy bear,

but the truth is, the school wasn’t fair.

I got trampled because of my size.

If you know me now-you shouldn’t be surprised.

The trampling made a cut on my knee.

I was surprised, scared and suddenly had to pee.

I asked someone- the janitor I presume,

“Excuse me, sir, but where is the bathroom?”

He went on and on and said something about a ‘corridor’?

But before I knew it, I’d already peed on the floor.

It was a long day and not very fun,

I was already starting to hate grade one.

When I got home I put on my cape

and said, “if you send me again, I shall escape.”